We get our first introduction to Jesus teaching in the Gospel reading for this week. So far in the narrative in Luke has been the birth story, followed by Baptism and then Jesus wandering in the wilderness (which we skip over and save for Lent). As far as we as readers know this is the one of the first times Jesus has taught in front of anyone too, and from what we can tell he is a natural. Confidently reading the scroll handed to him by providence and the temple attendant Jesus proclaims that he is the one whom Isaiah is talking about. He shows no hint of nerves, trepidation or anything coming near doubt with what he saying to the people in front of him. Many of whom he has known for almost his whole life. It’s impressive!
In my reading and thinking about this text I do wonder if Jesus ever got nervous in his first few weeks of ministry. I know he is God come to earth, but he is also supposed to be wholly human, and most humans I know get nervous. I wonder if in those first forays into teaching Jesus was acting a bit like High School debate students. When I was in High School one my extra-curricular activates was debate. For a few months in the Fall, I’d spend my Friday and Saturday at High Schools around the state of Minnesota arguing over things like the Trolley Problem, Nuclear Proliferation, and Standardized Testing with other students. Looking back on that time I’ve always said that the greatest display of false and overblown self-confidence may have been found at those tournaments. A group of 14 to 18-year-olds wearing business attire almost boastfully articulating their position on a given topic. At the same they were just kids worried about who likes who, why there acne wouldn’t go away, would they pass their drivers test, and would they get into college? So often I found the confidence we displayed in our debates was a well-crafted mask that didn’t accurately reflect our internal selves (with a few frankly frightening exceptions). I know that ability to preform confidence when I had none served me well when I first started being a Pastor. Was I always sure of what I was doing? No. Was I gonna look like it at least? Heck yes.
So in my imagination even at the ripe old age of 30 Jesus had a little bit of that in him too when he first started out. He knew he was called to be a savior to the nations but was maybe still figuring it out as he started teaching in that synagogue in Nazareth. Which I think is a Gospel word for us too. Sometimes God is going to call us to do big things, and hard things. But God calling us to do something and us having confidence in ourselves to actually do that thing are very different. So when we feel scared we can maybe look to Jesus in his first weeks of ministry and learn from the art of faking it until we make it. Because God is calling us to many things in the future and I’m not sure any of us have enough confidence to be sure of how exactly we are supposed to do it all.
Peace,
CoreyF
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